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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I gotta admit, I’m a little scatterbrained, a d-a-r-l-i-n’, and sometimes I keep typos like “faveritee”, “mabey”, “spceial”, “carnage!”, “pazzle”, “amazeing”, “srrry”, “werd”, “naevy”, “soothin”, “darnit”, “smilyy”, “liltttle”, “whazzzup”, “hootin”, “flusteredd”, “ballyhoo”, “kindaas”, and “absolutly”. Yes, that’s 18 – just enough to keep ya grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater!

Luxury Cranbourne East home with handcrafted saloon and mancave passes in at auction